Visit
It was a privilege today, to visit my friend’s passed-over husband. He looked so peaceful in his open casket. I was given a choice to proceed straight to the morning tea quarters or to visit Ted. I chose the latter as I did want to spend a few minutes saying my goodbyes.
Ted was of mixed heritage, with a Maori mother and a Croatian father, as many of the people in this district are. His wife is European and she has stated many times that Ted identified more with his Croatian side than any other. It was nice to find this area set aside in their house, for people to pay their respects if they wished to, or to just have a cup of tea if that was their choice. After living in the Hokianga in a Maori community for nearly 10 years, I became familiar with the Maori way of honouring their dead. This was a lovely mix of the different cultures, catering for people to pay their respects in their own way. Fortunately for me, there was no requirement to sing a waiata as happens within the marae. I cannot sing at all – like monotone can’t sing. Usually I get away with this lack of ability by mouthing around more competent singers. When Daniel died and a group visited from my former home, they stood their waiting after the speech for me to sing but upon realising this wasn’t going to happen, took it upon themselves to do so. Highly unusual. I can’t even get out the Happy Birthday song. It was embarrassing when I lived in that same community when there was a tradition to sing for one’s piece of cake during birthday celebrations. I don’t think many people understand the concept of ‘can’t sing’. My memories stretch right back to childhood when our class was told someone was singing out of tune. I mouthed the next song and the teacher remarked that the sound was now better. I was that bad.
We stayed about an hour at Ted’s, the majority of this time in the tea room. Timing was perfect as we had just stood up to leave when the next party arrived. I was pleased to have spent time with my friend and she was very understanding when I explained I wouldn’t be attending the following day’s funeral. I have my workshop and as there are three of us involved and some people travelling some distance, I did not want to pull out at the 11th hour. That’s why it was so nice paying my respects today.
Ted’s body was extremely peaceful and that was nice. A big shiny truck sat outside his bedroom, one that transported him from the funeral home yesterday and will take him to his resting place tomorrow. I know he is now in truck heaven. RIP Ted.