Third connection

I have written blogs connected to the previous one in the past, but I don’t think I have written three that are connected before. Two days ago, I did a meditation about freeing the abundance blockages on the ancestral line. I was mainly doing this meditation because I realised, I was the one blocking the readers from reading my books and my blogs. Yesterday, I started a meditation about freeing these same connections in my past lives but I fell asleep during it so I don’t know whether the meditation was effective or not. The two past lives that appeared were my Medieval life and my serf life. I talked about these yesterday. Last night, when I was again lying awake, these two former lives came into my thoughts and I was able to see clearly the beliefs formed in them. The man I was in the Medieval life was imprisoned by a king or nobleman, who thought that if he had what I had, he would be as successful as I was. He took my wife and in that cold cell, I no longer had anything. As I mentioned in the previous blog, in that life, I had equated wealth with material possessions. Everything that was mine was taken from me. I realised last night, my block from this man was the belief that I couldn’t have wealth anymore. At that stage, I also couldn’t see any value in myself without these material possessions. Last night, I also realised that I, as that man, was experiencing the same frustration as my ancestor that appeared in the ancestral meditation the night before. She believed and knew with all her heart that there was no possible way of having money/food/possessions. It was a desperate, frustrating feeling, creating a huge block that had passed to me in my current life, on both the ancestral and past life line.

I have one person in particular whom I want to read my book, but they won’t. I realised last night that this feeling of frustration I feel, is the same as the Medieval man and the ancestor. If they would only read it, then that feeling would disappear, has been my train of thought, but I know now that I have to heal that feeling first because it is my anxiousness that is blocking this person from reading it. And let’s be honest, when I have done my work, I won’t even care who reads it or doesn’t. That’s how these things work. When something is ready to be cleared, we feel the emotions with far more intensity than is normal. That has often been how I have realised I have needed to do more work on an issue in the past, when I am totally overreacting to a scenario.

I saw the serf man’s belief as well last night, that had created the blockage in me. This man had worked incredibly hard throughout his life. His wife was non-appreciative of him. His best was never good enough. The harder he worked the more money was taken in a tithe so he was continually poor, so not only did he believe he could never have abundance, but he also believed he wasn’t good enough. He believed he didn’t deserve wealth and wouldn’t be rewarded for his hard work.

I have done clearings over the years and have certainly released a lot of stuff along these lines. It is just the lingering bits that still need work. Now that I can see clearly what these are, I can set about doing the final clearings. I will have issues from childhood along both of these lines. I was continually told by my mother that I didn’t deserve things and I know she withdrew things from me, probably creating the belief that I could never have what I wanted. I will have to put some time away in the next few days to really work on these. Watch this space.