Mental health

I have been lucky with my mental health over the years. Apart from the times when I lost my father and my son, I have fared well mentally, with only the occasional bluesy day. Today is one of those. I have woken feeling quite vulnerable and down, something that rarely happens. There is no obvious reason for this, apart from the fact that I haven’t walked for a week and have seen very little sunshine. Yesterday I just lay around on the couch most of the day and slept for a part of that time. I blamed the chest infection and rainy day but I am not sure what today is about.

Sunshine and the outdoors have always been important to me. As a child, I rarely stayed inside, preferring instead to be out on the farm or in the garden with my cats. It is only the last few years that I have found myself indoors more frequently and thus not in the sun’s rays as much as usual. The living area of our house does not see a lot of sun which doesn’t help. I love houses where one is bathed in sunshine for the whole day. We do get snippets from a couple of the chairs but when one has been outside, it always seems dark coming indoors.

When I lived on the farm and milked the cow, I hated coming back inside to finish the chores, but at least then I would be outdoors for the rest of the day afterwards. I am looking forward to summer when I can once again body board and spend time at the beach, soaking up that sun.

As I got more information about my former lives, I discovered that in the one where I lived as a North American Indian male, our land had been taken from us and we were forced to live in an area where we got very little sun, especially in the mornings. I think I have brought through into this life my desire for the sun and the importance of it. I know I have always felt good after a day in the sunshine and conversely days like today when I try and find a reason as to why I am feeling like this, I realise I have had very little sun of late. To me, sunshine is such a magic tonic.

I have read that there is a high incidence of mental health issues amongst the younger generation and I wonder if a remedy for this would be to get those people away from their devices and outdoors, instead of prescribing some form of antidepressant drug. At least try that before prescribing. I am fortunate in that my blues only last for a day. I wouldn’t like to be in a situation where that feeling went on for any length of time.

Even sitting on this computer causes me conflict at times. I want to be outdoors, yet to write, I am inside. At least this room is bright and sunny now that the tree, which shadowed the house, has been cut down.

All this longing for the warmer weather and the outdoors, brings me to another issue – my weight. Whilst I started the year on keto, I have managed to put back on the small amount of weight I lost. I don’t want to head into another summer as heavy as this but unless I do something about it, that will be my reality. On that note, I feel it is time to finish this and head outdoors.