Let the past be past

This week I received an email from one of my brothers replying to an email the other had sent. It was strange, because although I was also tagged in the original email, I hadn’t received it. I only got the reply. This has happened a couple of times and I wonder what other emails I may have missed, that if they hadn’t been replied to, I would never have known of their existence.

It transpires that someone in my father’s home town is writing up war records of those soldiers who served in World War 1. This person must have got in contact with my brother detailing the information she had. Amongst this was a sentence saying that my father had spent a night in jail for allowing a prisoner to escape. The romantic side of me would like to think that my father did this deliberately, perhaps saving a young man like himself from possible death. We don’t know the reason why this occurred. Were they were short staffed? Were others also disciplined? Whatever, that sentence lies as part of my father’s war records.

Here's the catch. My brother found about this some years ago and had a difficult time accepting that this had happened to my father. He tried to find out more but was unable to do so. He didn’t tell me of his find; I think my mother did and it went something along the lines of my brother being extremely upset about it. I am not sure what his feelings were, possibly shame.

In this email my other brother replied to, there is a lengthy spiel from my brother who sent the email, requesting that this information not be included in the material this researcher had gathered. There was some excuse about respecting my father’s dignity.

I was quite horrified that he wished to tamper with research in such a way. By omitting this piece, he is then distorting the truth and thus the research this lady has done. I believe through his own ego, rather than that of my father. I told him as such in my email. Whose reputation are you trying to protect, dad’s or yours? He hasn’t replied but I hope he reflects on this. Both my other brother and I have no problem with this information being out there. My father was a compassionate, kind-hearted man and in my eyes, he probably took a compassionate response to the prisoner.

Early this morning, when I woke up, I put on a meditation and before I knew it, I found myself back on the family farm and in a paddock near an old ponga whare where my father had lived for a number of years. I had deliberately not had an intention, rather I was open to whatever spirit wanted to show me. There was my father and my grandson, which made me ponder if he is the reincarnation of my father. My belief is that even when we reincarnate, a part of us, the other lives we have lived, remain in the spirit realm, hence why I could possibly see both at the same time. I immediately realised my father wanted to discuss the war incident but unfortunately, I couldn’t ascertain what his message was. I did wonder if perhaps my brother had been correct and he didn’t want that information out there but I was unable to tell. That was actually quite frustrating because, if I am the one who has got this wrong, then I need to know. It was like my father wanted to tell me about it, so that I knew, but the communication was not clear enough for us to do this. Perhaps I will meditate specifically on this at a later date.

I have spent years working on myself, and I notice immediately if something is someone’s own stuff that needs working through. People don’t understand that many of our reactions aren’t about now, but about something that caused us pain in our pasts and needs healing. I feel this is the case with my brother. I hope he realises I didn’t make that comment to be unkind, but rather to open an area for him to heal.