Dreams and frustration
Today I am writing directly onto this website, rather than in Microsoft Word as I generally do. The reason for this is because I am in a hurry as I have visitors coming for lunch and there is preparation to do. I have received a message twice telling me Microsoft is updating followed by a ‘sorry can’t open’ message. I just notice it has finally opened my page. That is 10 minutes later. I must say it is more difficult writing this way as it doesn’t automatically cap my opening word or the I’s in each sentence. However, I shall persevere. I have noticed before, that when I am in a hurry, the computer often takes a long time to start up, almost as if it is taunting me - perhaps a lesson in patience. But seriously, sometimes, I do wonder if it has eyes and sensors in the back of it Microsoftic head such is the connection between wanting to get into Word quickly and the delays at such times.
Enough of that. What I was going to talk about today was the dream I had last night, in one of the few hours I was actually sleeping. Perhaps one of the dream analysts out there could offer me an explanation. There were a couple of things going on. Stephen and I were staying in a very large, old house and there were lots of people there, also staying. I knew I had a room that was vacant where I could sleep, but Stephen was telling me he didn’t want to sleep in that room. I was asking him to stay with me. Somewhere along the line, in another room, I handed my phone and charger over to a couple of people in this room to be charged. I was making my way through another room when a young man, perhaps 30 came rushing in. He had a gun and had just killed two people. I think I had seen him do that. I was very conscious of wanting to run to safety, but knew if I did this, I might be his next target. I was on my feet at the time and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible, keeping to the right hand side of him. Suddenly he swung the gun around and killed one of the men in the room, then immediately, like he had just realised what he had done with this third killing, burst into tears and actions of ‘what the hell have I just done’, before leaving the room. He was a white man, well dressed with short, neatly-cut, light-coloured hair, not someone one would normally associate with a killing of this sort. I could see a girl on the phone to the emergency services and I heard the police sirens not far away, suggesting they had been notified immediately after the first killing.
I couldn’t assist in any of this as I didn’t have my phone on me. I went back to the room to retrieve it and was given both phone and charger. I returned to the room I had been in, only to realise that it wasn’t my phone. I took it back, but they could not find my one, which was incredibly frustrating as that phone is such a necessary part of my existence. I guess I then woke up.
My own analysis of this dream denotes there is some sort of danger around me, not from the obvious, but something unexpected. I need to be inconspicuous to avoid this. Losing my phone, and not having it with me when I really needed it to ring the police, to me indicates a danger as well and a big loss, plus a vulnerability. I would only be able to function half as well without it. Plus an inability to help in such a situation. As for Stephen not wanting to stay in the sleeping-room with me, again an indication of being on my own, unprotected. I did feel vulnerable in the dream. Stephen was elsewhere at the time and here I was with a gunman who had just killed two people. But the gunman didn’t shoot me and I guess he would have soon been apprehended. If I take from the dream, that I survived, then I guess I will survive whatever this non-obvious threat is. But I don’t get away scot free, I lose my phone. So there appears to be some kind of physical loss, one that will impact my way of life.
I have pointed out before that I rarely remember my dreams, but this one was so vivid. The old house is a common theme for me to. And I am talking really old, like the 1920s. Perhaps this dream was healing something from my childhood or even a past life.
Either way, if I do indeed come across some danger at a later date, I shall update today’s blog.