Energies

I am a Cancer. That is, the Cancer astrological star sign. A typical trait of ours is to scurry into our shell at the first sign of difficulties. Today, that is where I want to go.

Another trait of ours is our sensitivity, mine particularly so. I feel others’ energies, sometimes too much.

This afternoon I am going to the local market to try and sell some books. Yesterday I put a notice on the Facebook page, telling the nearby residents I would be doing this. Immediately I felt uneasy and could feel a negative influence around me. It was like my usual energy, instead of being strong, was fluttering in waves, making me feel ungrounded.

I have felt others’ energy for years. When I was massaging, I would feel the surge of energy wash through me when the client was releasing. When I am working on the phone with a client, sometimes hundreds of miles away, I also feel this energy, as if I was standing right next to them.

I have always felt good and bad approaching, I feel others’ anger, sadness, and their happiness too. But I don’t like this feeling that I experience as I venture out of my Cancer shell, going public with my beliefs.

This has been a lifelong fear, and I have talked about it a lot. I have come a long way, especially since the publication of the first book. I am putting it out there now. That is a huge achievement for me. However, for whatever reason, my writing has always attracted a strong negative force, especially from those opposed to my beliefs.

My tools are to send the negativity back whole and healed with love, which works wonderfully, to go in and see what part of myself still needs healing, and to be strong. One of my past lives, an Aborigine man, has always been there for me to help to help with the strength side of things. And after all, once we bring light into our darkness, it dissolves it, so I know I should feel fine in the not-too-distant future.

Another thing that is bothering me today is my lack of understanding for the Amazon publishing experience. I posted my book online yesterday. Yay, I should be celebrating, but I am not. Half of the boxes that needed attention, I was unsure about and ticked whatever. I need help to understand exactly what I have agreed to and also how to make my book available electronically as well as paperback. The printing company I work with has a man who can explain all this, and I am waiting to pay for this service and actually talk with someone with this knowledge.

I know this comes easy for a lot of people, just not me. I won’t be able to rest until it is all sorted. But I suppose, at least people can still buy my book from my website. I understand this one – the order comes in and I pack it and send it away. Simple and I do know that Amazon should be even easier once I get it sorted.

Marketing is my next big issue and that will involve going public even more. However, as I said in a previous blog, I do need to sell copies of my book this time. So I guess that means this Cancer is going to detach more and more from its place of comfort.