Balance
My incredibly creative friend has just started writing her own blogs {nanasblogsfromthebeach.blogspot.com}. Yesterday she put up some pointers she had googled about writing these. Create a good title, have a great opening paragraph etc. Apparently, there were hundreds of different articles on the topic, to choose from. These pointers were right, but I immediately felt the stubborn (or the balancing side) of me kick in. I will write how and what I want, I thought to myself. Yes, my headings are boring and certainly not made to draw readers in. My target audience, well I am hoping they will find me. Ironically, my books detail the spiritual side of myself whereas my blogs are evolving to expose physical parts of my life, so in fact, those interested in my books, may have no interest in my blogs and vice-versa. And then there is the possibility that there won’t be anyone who has any interest in them! But I will continue writing, because I enjoy it. What I feel is more important than anything, is being true to myself and I know that authenticity will shine through, (to the computer anyway, should there be no readers). Wow, as I wrote that, my computer packed a big sad, the text turned white, the printer page came on and a red cross appeared in the top right-hand corner. That was a pretty big reaction. Obviously, the computer does not want to be included amongst the readership.
Going back to being true to myself, I have often found that I seem to create a balance in situations, sometimes being more one-way than the other, which to many may not seem authentic at all, but that is how I am. At boarding school, a small group of us formed a friendship. Our group was too naughty for the girls we called the goody-goods and too good for the really naughty ones, yet we got on with both. We were the middle road. It did work in our favour too. On the Sunday closest to our birthdays, we would have a birthday table, which included inviting our friends to that table and indulging in a birthday cake, usually an ice cream one, or another, if our parents had visited that day. Each of these groups didn’t have enough friends to fill their tables and so we were invited to both, whereas I don’t think the really naughty and the goody-goods ever mixed. We were the joiners.
I have noticed this in other areas of my life too. If I was around a group of men who were swearing heavily, I wouldn’t swear but if I was with a group of women who were too feminine, swear words would pop out - again the balancer.
At the spiritual development circle I attended in the 1990’s, the teacher of this group told me that I would be exactly that. I guess the healings I carried out during my massaging years were creating that balance, after all, this is what healing is, finding the body’s equilibrium.
Maybe that is why these blogs are evolving to include the physical. My books are heavily tilted on the spiritual side; the physical side creates a balance to that.
For years I have hidden my spiritual side tightly away. The physical activities and mixing with non-spiritual people was, I guess, another way of having the balance.
Whatever, I will continue doing things my way. If I appear to be too much one way one day and too much the other way the next day, I am merely reflecting what is around me…always, subconsciously, trying to find the balance.