Discernment

That was quick. I mentioned yesterday I was unable to clear an issue and had carried out some ancestral healing in order to do so. Before I went to sleep, I attempted more healing, to no avail. I slept soundly and on waking, a clear thought entered my head and that was that I would need to love and accept all parts of myself. That strong emotion that had surfaced from time to time, needed loving and accepting, rather than rejection. I quickly found a short meditation that entailed finding a part that one loved in themselves, bringing that part to one’s awareness and offering affirmations of love and acceptance. Immediately an image came to mind of myself as an eight-year-old, sitting on a step in an outdoor porch area, cuddling my cat. I saw that I loved the compassionate part of myself, the one that stroked the cats and took food and water to the sick and injured animals on the farm, while at the same time offering them love. Initially I wondered why that image had come to mind, but that soon became evident with the next part of the meditation, which involved finding a part of oneself, that one did not love. Immediately I saw an image of myself as a younger child, perhaps less than a year old. She was sitting on the floor, feeling ignored, unloved and rejected. It became clear that my mother was giving all the attention to my slightly older brother and none to me. My whole life I had rejected those uncomfortable feelings, rather than accepting, embracing and healing them; actually doing the same thing to myself, that my mother had done to me. One of the affirmations in this meditation was telling both the loved and unloved parts of oneself that they were welcome there. The affirmations were certainly helpful, but I knew I needed to do more.

This is where the discernment part comes in - working out what is right or not right for oneself at a particular time. I put on one inner child meditation but stopped it after five minutes as I knew it would not be useful for me today. I found another and this time the words gelled with me. In this meditation, I saw the same rejected child I had seen earlier and showered her with love. I then went back through particular instances in my life where I had felt that same feeling of rejection and I replaced them with love. I was now able to do this because I had healed this little girl, that hurting part of my adult self.

I don’t know why I was taken to the ancestral line for healing yesterday, but I always trust the sequence that spirit guides me with. Perhaps I needed to go there first in order to identify the same feeling in another, before I was able to address the same in myself but whatever the reason, I am incredibly grateful for this morning’s healing.