Abundance-blockage meditation
I found myself awake again this morning at 4am. By 4.30, when I still wasn’t asleep, I decided to do an abundance-blockage meditation. I do this kind of one periodically and over the years I have cut cords to the vows I made in both my monk and nun life around poverty and have worked on my beliefs concerning money or the lack there of. I don’t have any specific money issues at the moment, the exercise was more to concentrate on this blog and reaching more readers. On a level, I know that I am the one blocking the readership as well as the readership of my books. Initially, and especially with the first book, I knew my fears around exposing my spiritual side, created the blockages there. I have removed these and in so doing, have discovered that I have deeper blocks and it is actually me stopping people from reading my work.
The meditation that jumped out at me this morning was one to heal ancestral issues around abundance, something I have not done before. During it, I became aware that I also need to examine some of my previous lives as I can see some of the beliefs formed in these are adding to the present-day blocks.
In this morning’s meditation, I was told to go back seven generations, on both my mother’s and father’s side. I saw how the scarcity created from the two world wars and the depressions added to my parent’s beliefs but I also found, on my mother’s side, a period when there appeared to be very little money. It seemed to be an Irish life, perhaps around the time of the potato famine, which happened between 1845 and 1852. I knew what this woman needed but the words of the guided meditation were taking me in a different direction. I followed the spoken word, but at the first opportunity, I went back to this life and gave the woman money. It was like she so desperately wanted it, but could see no possible way of having it. It was creating a feeling within her of never having what she desired, a feeling I have periodically had. It creates a feeling of frustration but also a feeling of craving and I can see how it forms the belief something along the lines of: I will never have what I want or I can never have what I want, creating a blockage to the desired outcome. I saw the joy as I gave this woman her money and I knew that would alter her belief, because she realised she could have what she desperately craved, after all. Here she was with it now.
Chiara arrived this morning for her spiritual tuition. I had planned a session, but Chiara asked if we could practise the eagle meditation, one I use to address fears. After we had finished this, I decided to teach her a similar one, where one examines the wall between the ideal life they desire and the life they are living now. Meditations are always stronger when done in conjunction with another person, rather than doing on one’s own. I decided to do some more work on my readership blockages. My wall, at the base, was solid and black. It looked like coal but I got the sense that it was made out of some kind of solid, black crystal. Higher up, a brush hedge grew from the black rock. This meditation works by dissolving the wall between the desired life and the present day one. This is achieved by going back and forth between the two lives until the wall is completely dissolved. As I expected, the brush wall disappeared quickly. The black one took more work and I had a sense of being young with a drowning sensation as I pushed myself through the dense wall. Eventually, only a few remnants remained and finally all traces of the wall had disappeared.
I feel these two meditations have been pretty significant today and when I complete my work around the former lives that showed up, I should have removed my blocks completely. The proof is in the pudding so to speak. I will know if I have been successful by whether readership of both this blog and books increase. Time will tell.