What another is going through
I was feeling a little vulnerable yesterday, on what would have been Daniel’s 40th birthday. For some reason, this anniversary, the seventh, hit me more than usual. I think it was because if he were alive, Daniel would have had a big celebration and instead of that, we were met with emptiness.
Stephen and I visited the cemetery in the morning. My hibiscus put on an extra special display for me and I was able to pick some beautiful flowers, this time with a big, long branch-stem. After that, we headed to town for our grocery shop, something we hadn’t done for weeks. We had let our stocks run low before we went on holiday and hadn’t shopped since our return. I wasn’t feeling that great, so we decided to take our time. Being a Thursday, the supermarket was extra busy, with most of the carpark full.
We ambled around the aisles filling the trolley with all our requirements. It is always a guess as to which checkout to choose, trying to get in the one that will get us through the quickest. Half way through loading our groceries onto the checkout, a friend called out, and in sign language, indicated that we should meet outside when she had completed her shop.
There is a seat near the entrance/exit door and we gladly sat down on that as we waited. Stephen was soon in deep conversation with an elderly gentleman who had sat next to him. Soon my friend showed up. I thought she was going to go outside so I moved my trundler a little closer to the door. However, she parked hers in a little gap, out of the way.
It wasn’t long before a torrent of people all came in at the same time, leaving no room for anyone to exit. A woman, who had pulled up nearby for a few minutes while she put her coins back in her purse, immediately started swearing at me. And she continued this as she made her way out, after waiting for the people to enter. It didn’t matter that they were coming in two abreast, she saw the reason she had to wait as my fault.
I was already feeling vulnerable and could have done without that. None of us know what, at any particular time, another person is going through. In my eyes, she was just reflecting herself. I pity the poor people in her life. But on an energetic level, that kind of vitriol is damaging. Her anger was directed at me and shreds of that would have landed on me. I must do a cleanse later.
The saying, there is always someone worse off than oneself, rang true when I got home. Friends of ours had just had a diagnosis that had thrown their lives upside down. Feeling a little vulnerable over something that happened seven years ago, and being sworn at, quickly paled in comparison.
As I state so many times, we must be thankful for what we do have.
On an extra positive note, my daughter had applied for a bank loan. I had secretly hoped that she would hear yesterday on Daniel’s birthday but having just got the house valued that morning, we weren’t expecting any news. Then at 8pm I received a very happy text. I have been approved. That was just what I needed to hear at the end of an emotional day.