The need for quiet

Sometimes I have an overwhelming need for quiet, to take myself away from people and just be by myself. I can often feel that need coming on the day before, for example, when I know I have something on the next day, but I already know that I probably won’t attend. And that’s what happened this morning, or more precisely last night, when I was asked if I wanted a ride into the Writers’ Group this morning.

“I’ll let you know tomorrow,” was my reply but I already knew deep within myself that unless something drastically changed overnight, then I would not be going. I’m not sure whether it is a fatigue or what it is, but the thought of being around a whole lot of people just seems so daunting and in the “too hard” basket. And yet when I have pushed myself at such times, I have always enjoyed myself once there.

I like all the people in this particular group, so it is not a case of not wanting to see someone. Stephen and I are going to visit my son, Michael, in Paihia on Thursday so it could be because I am trying to preserve my energy. I do feel extremely tired this morning; the walk was difficult, and the gardening I had planned has also taken a back seat. I just realized I have not taken my multi vitamin pill for a few days so have just had one of those. Perhaps I am slightly anaemic.

When I was massaging and working with people all day, I often found I needed alone times, almost an opportunity to recharge my batteries so that I could function the following week. Often on my days off I would take myself to the beach and just spend the afternoon lying in the sun and swimming. When I was joined by Stephen, I found the need for alone time increased. Stephen is not a fan of being in the sun and would often apologise for not joining me on my trips to the beach. “It is fine,’’ I would always tell him but I must admit I did like it when he did come.

I actually think today is a spiritual thing. I had a couple of major energetic releases this week and my body is adjusting to those. One needs to be gentle with oneself in the days following such an event. And when I was working with my clients, often they were doing the same thing. Even though it was not me releasing at such times, I still needed the same gentleness with myself afterwards, as they did.

I have always been affected by other people’s energies. If someone near me is having a bad day, I feel it. Often in a group situation, there are others whose discomfort I pick up on and I certainly do when working energetically on people, especially when there are big energetic shifts taking place.

But regardless of the reason. I haven’t attended this morning’s group. I am having my quiet day and hopefully I will have accrued some energy for my trip to Paihia later in the week.