Old age

We had an old friend die earlier this week. Not old in having knowing him a long time, but old in age. I was so relieved when I heard. That might sound horrible, but when one loses one’s quality of life as this man had, it is not nice to see one slowly losing more faculties, especially when their brain remains sharp.

Having been a nurse myself, I know how bad some of these people can become, where they are reduced to permanent bed rest and need to be fed. Our friend hadn’t got to this stage; he was still able to sit in his chair, though hadn’t been able to walk on his own after breaking his upper arm some months ago.

He was placed in a rest home before this break occurred, but following it, he became so much more dependent on others for his basic needs.

At 94 he had had a good innings. He was a lovely man and I will miss him, but as I said above, I am relieved, relieved that he will not have to go through any more degradation.

When I nursed in England back on my big OE in 1978/79, I remember how easily the patients over there died. The opposite was true of my New Zealand experience. I am not sure whether it was a trait we had all inherited from our pioneering ancestors or something else, but New Zealanders did not die easily. They would hang on day after day, even when they may not have been having food or fluids. These patients on the other side of the world would be talking away one day and be dead the next. I found the difference really noticeable. In New Zealand, we thought a person couldn’t possibly still be around the next day, but they were. In England, one thought they would still have another week or two, and then they died. Completely the opposite.

I was pleased Stephen and I had visited our friend the day before he died. He was actually a European, having migrated from Holland some years ago. I thought he looked unwell, but hadn’t expected him to go so quickly. It is not nice seeing someone, whose brain is still sharp, not being able to move around as freely as they would like.

I will miss him, but I am pleased he has gone before the deterioration went further. RIP our friend.