More work
I mentioned in a previous blog how I have been waking frequently and often for two or three hours at a time. During one of these periods, I resigned to the wakefulness, decided that I was being woken purposefully in order to clear more of my stuff and set about doing so. I have found that things to work on are often sitting just beneath the surface during these hours.
A couple of nights ago, I put on an inner child meditation, varieties of which I have listened to frequently over the years. The gist of these is to bring up a version of one’s younger self, talk to them, heal whatever the presenting issue is and offer love and encouragement to this child. For the first time, my child was happy. She has been sad or lonely or hurt in the past. I felt this was a significant breakthrough for me because, somehow, I thought the younger versions would always have something that needed healing. The work I have been doing on myself over the years is definitely paying off. I knew this already with my past life healings, because I react far less frequently to things than I used to, but the deeper inner child work had seemed like an unending pit.
Last night, lying awake once again, I decided to work on an issue that I know I haven’t been able to clear, something I have worked on numerous times. I have cleared the past lives associated with this issue but can’t really pinpoint it to any childhood occurrence as I can with most things, which is the key to releasing it. Suddenly, I had a lightbulb moment. Perhaps this is ancestral, come not through my past lives, but through my family line. And maybe it is not mine, but come in my DNA from a distant past.
Ancestral healing is not something that I have done a lot of. In my books, I point out that we choose for our parents, those who are most likely to give us the opportunities to heal the issues from our previous lives. The majority of my self-work has been past life work. I have done a little bit of healing of my great-grandparents, which also coincided with my past life issues and childhood stuff, but not much more. I have definitely healed issues connected with my mother but have been healing me, rather than her.
The meditation I did was interesting. First I was put into a relaxed state before entering a tunnel that took me through time and space. Upon exiting, I was surrounded by about 20 people, who I was told, were my ancestors. Immediately, I began to understand some of these people’s pain and saw patterns that I had also inherited. I was told to bring that pain through my heart chakra, and down to my sacral chakra, where it would then leave my body. I followed these instructions and was surprised to see a big black ball forming as this energy exited this chakra. I repeated the process a couple of times and saw the ball enlarge each time I did this. It was then carried away by the angels.
I won’t know whether this exercise will help until the next time I am confronted with the issue. But regardless of whether it does or doesn’t, I have cleared something else from my body that no longer serves me. And that can only be a good thing. And I am hoping that this meditation is going someway towards these wakeful nights being over. Here’s hoping.