Generational healing

I mentioned in yesterday’s blog that I believe, as souls, we choose parents who will match our soul needs. When we have an area that our soul wants healed in this incarnation, then the best way to do this is to experience a similar thing. We are not going to heal something if we have no exposure to it. Thus, choosing parents with a similar issue in their genetic line, will most likely give us that exposure we are seeking.

In the last few days, I have been doing more healing on myself and this time, I sought to heal the issue both in my past lives and in my genetic line. I had already done this on my mother’s side, but not my father’s.

When I was a teenager, one of my first big loves ended up dumping me for someone else. I was at boarding school so could not attend the party that he was going to. We used to hang out at school each day until that point. At the time, I had no problem about not going to the party, as I would see Patrick on Monday. Monday came and he wasn’t around as he normally was. Nor the following day. He was doing as much as he could to avoid me. It was his friends who told me he had a new girlfriend, one of the day girls and someone in a class or two younger than me. I knew her reasonably well as she was one of the girls in our tennis team. They had met at the party. I was devastated and cried continually before eventually moving on.

My next big love wasn’t much better. This was while I was nursing. My friend, another Pat, and I, had come back from a party in Cambridge and made our way down to Rotorua’s lake front, which was where we met Steve. He was down from Auckland taking part in a yachting regatta. We chatted away before Pat and I made our way back to the nursing home, where we were staying. I was still pretty hung-over from the party, so went to bed early that night. About 8 or nine pm I had a knock at my door, waking me from my sleep. A young man had turned up at reception looking for a Pat. He said there were two Pat’s and he was after the shorter one, giving my description. I reluctantly got myself dressed and because Steve was so insistent, we had our first date. That became the start of our long-distant relationship. Steve cheated on me a couple of times, I found out later. In fact, he could have been cheating on someone else, by being with me. Not living in the same area, it was difficult to know exactly what was going on. One of his worst betrayals was with a flat mate of mine during one of his visits to Rotorua. I was at work, while my flat mate was alone in the flat. She had great delight in telling me the next day that Steve never wanted you, it was me he always loved.

So that was my introduction to the dating world, falling heavily in love and being cheated on. In my next relationship, a long-term one, my boyfriend moved in with me. He didn’t cheat, but I was often insecure because of what I had experienced in the past. Our relationship ended when he came back to New Zealand while on our big OE.

The man I married was a serial cheater. Once I left him, I did a lot of work healing this aspect of the relationship that was still affecting me. However, insecurities have continued to dog me from time to time in my current relationship. And as much as I have worked on myself, they have continued to arise now and again. So last night, I decided to look further than I generally do and this time concentrate on past lives and genetics. I had already done a lot of work on two of the three past lives with this same issue, it was just the third that needed more work, a life where I was starting a new life in America with my husband and sister. During the wagon ride, the pair threw me out and left me to die a horrendous death. They had been having an affair and probably planned the whole thing.

I offered forgiveness to them both and forgave myself for carrying the pain with me into this life.

Then I moved to my father’s father, a man who died of a heart attack when my father was 10. He was in love with a bar tender and wanted to marry her. The parents, still in England, were alarmed at this and sent my grandfather’s twin brother to dissuade him from marrying this woman, deemed to be beneath his status. The outcome was that the twin brother then fell in love with her and the pair eloped. My grandfather never repaired that rift with his brother and went on to marry my grandmother.

So here is the example of having both examples in the past life and genetic lineage and of me experiencing similar things in my life.

I did lots of work around my grandfather, forgiving him and his brother and trying to heal his pain. I found I was directed back to the love I mentioned earlier, where my boyfriend went to the party and found a new girlfriend. I realised there were still unhealed aspects of this relationship, which I duly worked on.

It would be lovely if I have finally healed this part of myself. Nothing is ever about now. I have always known this, but sometimes, finding the exact area one needs to heal can be difficult. I thought I had already healed that first relationship but, there you go, I hadn’t. Time will tell if there is more, but somehow I think I have finally nailed it.