Choices

My understanding is that we choose, before we are born, the things we want to experience in our upcoming life.

I have been shown, and talked about this in a previous blog, that we can ask for extra time before experiencing a particular thing but generally we can’t avoid that experience all together. I was shown this in the times I asked for help. Yes, the wheels of my life could be slowed, but not stopped altogether. I could have my reprieve, but that was only temporary.

So why, might one ask, would a soul choose a difficult life? There are a number of reasons for this but the main ones are to heal aspects of our previous lives and to advance our soul growth. Many patterns are repeated during our lives and will continue to do so until we heal them. These patterns have generally been patterns in many of our previous lives, too. We are the latest incarnation and our previous selves are relying on us to do this healing. When we heal ourselves, we are healing them as well.

I would consider I have had a difficult life, losing my father at 18, my first born at 24 weeks and my son when he was 33 years old, but how does one define this? One person’s difficult life could be another person’s paradise. I bet someone living in Palestine right now would do anything to have my life. Take another example, a person starving. How do you compare that difficulty with someone whose husband has just left them, both circumstances that would be hard for each of them? To the starving person, who is loved by their village and particularly their husband, who is doing everything he can to provide for his wife, to the moderately wealthy woman who is now shunned by her former friends and the one who mattered most, her husband.

Love is the most powerful force in this universe and I believe any battle or hardship can be overcome or at the very least, tolerated, with the love of another, whether it be a child knowing they have their mother’s 100% love or the wife with the same security. However, particularly with the current wars, I believe it will extremely difficult for people to forgive the other side, especially when someone has lost their whole family, for example. But I do believe, regardless of our ‘’hard’’ circumstances that we have chosen these for our soul growth.

Why would one choose war? To me the lesson would be forgiveness, rather than hatred, bitterness and resentment, probably the most difficult lesson of all, particularly if one has lost all their family members and their home.

I have talked, in my healing work, to other people suffering grief. Why would that be part of the soul journey, they have asked? Why would anyone choose to lose a child, for example? My answer to this: After a death, we hold so much grief. Our hearts become heavy and blackened, with this taking up a huge space in our beings. Bit by bit, as we heal, we chip away at that heaviness, replacing it with pinkness and love. Eventually, and I am not sure if one ever really gets over losing a child, most of that space becomes love-filled. One has a space in their body that one didn’t have before and would never ever have without that massive experience of grief, a space that now provides extra love and compassion.

As I have stated before as well, two people are often needed for experiences, one to be the loss the other to suffer the grief, one to be the abuser, the other to be the victim and so on. I believe in a lot of cases we come in knowing that we will play these roles for each other.

I guess my message in all of this is to trust, trust that we are all part of our own plans. And there is always a bigger picture at play.