Bittersweet

We were once again privileged to attend a beautiful family gathering with Genevieve yesterday. Guests included her parents who are over from France, my ex and his partner, my two boys still in New Zealand, four grandchildren and a couple of Genevieve’s friends who live nearby. When I say we, it was actually only me, as Stephen was feeling unwell. And I hardly saw the children as they were playing down the hallway for most of the time. Genevieve is an excellent cook and combines New Zealand food and customs, which she has learnt while here, with French, so that we get the best of both. There is always a big platter of cheeses, crackers and dips for starters, for example. And desserts consist of tarts and fruit salads or healthy-recipe cakes. I brought a pavlova just to give the parents an extra taste of Kiwiana.

Genevieve’s parents leave on Friday after a three-week stay. I know they have been a huge help, completing many of the jobs that needed doing around the house. But here’s the catch. Genevieve will leave soon herself. I don’t even think she is sure of when or even where, just that she will go. We have known this, but the nearly two and a half years since she returned has flown by. I will miss her visits and visiting her, the family gatherings and the regular phone calls and of course Willow, the little girl who has grown so much in the time spent here. Genevieve is currently organising tenants for her house and once finalised, will probably move on.

I suppose I should be incredibly grateful for the two years we have had and the fact that we will still be able to have phone conversations, yet somehow, I am already feeling this loss. Part of it could be that I will be losing my number one fan. No matter what I wear or what I come up with, Genevieve always finds something positive to say about it, and, she makes a point of reading these blogs. I talked in the last blog or two about losing my friend to cancer. Most of the loss we experience during these times is that that person will not be around. We will miss their beautiful characteristics, our friendship and the things we can no longer do together but there is also the part where we lose a person who believes in us.

We were so fortunate that Genevieve came back to live here in New Zealand but more so that she and Daniel had a daughter, so that even though he is gone, part of him lives on. I especially saw this when Willow found her father’s hat last week. She has been wearing it non-stop. Energy remains in a person’s personal items and I feel Willow has instinctively realised this, feeling good when she is wearing his hat. I don’t think there would have been a lot of his things suitable for her and I wouldn’t have thought she would have taken to his hat as she has done, but it fits perfectly and she looks great in it – our little cow girl.

I think Genevieve is planning a trip back next year for a week or so and I need to hold onto the fact that she hasn’t yet gone! We still have a few weeks to create a few more happy memories.