Whirlwind visit and tiredness
I woke, full of anticipation for my children’s visit yesterday. The only problem was, I was super tired after spending the hours from three to five, wide awake. Why of all mornings did it have to be that morning, especially after I had done much the same the night before, only then it was three hours of wakefulness. Now I was doubly tired.
I attended my first writer’s event where our group shares a piece they have written. I had told everyone I would need to leave early to meet the plane so was slotted in relatively early. I had no idea part of this would entail a performance, but something to work on for the next one. I think, coupled with my own tremor I always have and the tiredness, along with the nervousness of sharing with this group, I shook like a leaf. Embarrassing. I would have been all right, had I not turned to the wrong page and then had to back track. My shaking arms were then on full display for everyone to see.
I tried to stay until the speaker had finished, but as I glanced at my clock, I knew I would need to leave mid-way through her rendition, and quietly sneaked out without anyone noticing. Stephen picked me up and about three or four kilometres along, I glanced at my phone, which I had muted, only to find a message from my son saying he was still in Auckland, the flight had been delayed. I could have waited until the end after all. We contemplated returning, but decided that by the time we made it back, everyone would have finished anyway.
The plane was an hour late. By the time we got home, I needed to start prepping for the family pizza night we had planned. All I wanted to do was sleep. Here I was with my children and the rest to come later, and I was beside myself tired. Something about tiredness I have found is it comes in waves. If one can ride one wave, they’ll be fine until the next one hits. And I was, until the next one came. I took myself to the bedroom, but couldn’t stay there knowing my two from Gold Coast were in the other room. And so, it went on through the evening. We were joined by the other children, which also coupled as a birthday celebration for Willow who was turning eight today, and a farewell, as the last time we would all be together for a number of years, with Willow and her mother returning to France in three weeks.
And then they were all gone.
I tidied up and the emptiness hit we. After sleeping a full nine hours last night, I rued the fact that I hadn’t been more awake to really appreciate everyone the day before. But I always trust situations, that they play themselves out as they are meant and for some reason, I was meant to be like I was. Perhaps it was a lesson for the kids, that Mum might not always be as available as one might like. I don’t know. Time with one’s children is so precious. I am looking forward to our own visit to the Gold Coast ourselves at the end of next month. Surely, I will have some of those fourteen days where I have slept well!