Waiting

Waiting is always a difficult time. I remember when our class finished our journalism training. As each job came up, a few would apply and slowly, one by one, each of us found employment. The thing with this was, we didn’t know where in the country or when the jobs would become available or even if we would be successful for any that we did apply for. In the meantime, there were bills to pay and a life that ticked on. I was fortunate, in that I was given some part-time work until I found my job, two months later. But the thing about this time, was that none of us knew how long it would last. Each day we would scan the papers for job vacancies - a week or two might go by before anything new came up. No, that town didn’t appeal, or that paper was too big or too small; they wanted an experienced journalist not a new graduate. Looking back, that two months was nothing in the scheme of things, but when one is in that waiting space, it is difficult, for we don’t know how long it will last. I have been in similar situations in my life, but usually there is a time-frame; those last few weeks or even days of pregnancy, waiting for a house to sell, waiting for results from exams or laboratory tests, waiting for a parcel; there are many examples.

I am currently waiting for The Collective Us to be edited, and to see if a story I sent to a publisher has been accepted. I check my emails with anticipation, wondering if today I’ll receive the news I have been waiting for.

One meditation I have found helpful for the journalism-type scenario, when we don’t know how long the wait is, is this: Think ahead to the future when we have that job, or whatever it is we are waiting for. Really see it clearly, then look back at where we are now. Suddenly, that feeling of endless emptiness disappears, for we now see that time in between as a mere blip, rather than an unknown vacuum. I have shared this with many people and all have found it helpful.

But whatever it is we are waiting for, I do believe timing is always perfect and that we need to live our lives regardless. And if we don’t get that job or whatever, then we weren’t meant to and a new pathway will unfold, more perfect than the last.