The frog and the scorpion

There is an old fable that goes something like this: A scorpion wants to cross a river and asks a frog for a ride on his back, as he cannot swim. The suspicious frog is wary, fearing the scorpion might sting him in the process but the scorpion points out that if he did this, then he would drown as well. The frog sees this logic and agrees to take the scorpion across the river. Enroute, the scorpion does sting the frog and as they are both dying the frog asks the scorpion: ‘’Why did you kill both of us?’’ The scorpion replies: I couldn’t help myself, that is my nature.”

Last Friday, Stephen and I travelled to Kaikohe to visit Stephen’s brother. The journey from Kerikeri to this town is one of the most beautiful in the whole country, I feel. The contour of the land is rolling, there are wonderful stone walls dividing paddocks but most majestically, there are many stands of native trees dotted along the way, most notably puriri, totara and kaihikatea. So much of the New Zealand countryside has been denuded of native trees, but up this way, in a place that was one of the first in the country to be settled by Europeans, these stands of trees have been left and they are magnificent. But what stands out for me is how these trees are so noticeable as to what species they are, both by their shape and colour of their leaves. The puriri likes to spread out, with its lowest branches only a metre or so from the ground. The kaihikatea, on the other hand, is tall and lean, while the totara is in between. When one looks at one of these stands or even a mix of these trees, there is no confusion as to what species each is.

In more suburban places, including next door to me, people try and shape these trees, pruning them so they do not take up so much space or take the sunlight from neighbouring buildings. But this just creates a cosmetic change. Each of these trees, inside it, is programmed by its dna. A puriri, left to its own devices will grow in the same way, shape and colour as other puriris, just as each tree will do.

Like that scorpion, it is in its nature to behave or grow a certain way. That set me thinking about people. There have become so many rules and regulations governing us these days. How many children’s spirits are becoming stifled, trying to be a puriri when they are really a totara at heart? Is it time to truly embrace both our own and each other’s uniqueness as the old tribes once did, of those born within them, appreciating each person’s differences. So many of us try to fit in, to conform, when really, we are beautiful just as we are and it is our uniqueness that sets us apart.

While the scorpion may be frowned upon for his actions with the frog, he is only doing what is ingrained in him to do, no more, no less. Scorpions have an important role in their environment controlling pests. In their habitat they are useful.

Wouldn’t it be a wonderful if each living thing was allowed to be who they really were and their uniqueness was celebrated.