Past influence

I have made this a topic at the speeches I have made about my books. Our pasts very much influence our present lives.

I am not sure whether I am more influenced than other people, but I am sure we are all influenced in some way.

I have lived three previous lives as a writer.

In the first, I was a monk. I assume a European one, as I used to see images of me dressed in brown attire. In other images I had, I was sitting in a very cold-looking stone room, at a desk, using a quill. I saw my final moments in that life, where I was burnt at the stake along with three others, all whom I have met in this life. I don’t know the reason for my death, but I do know that I haven’t had to do any work on that life, other than cutting vows, indicating I was at peace with my myself at my time of passing.

In the second life, I was again a male and my writing was used against me, to initiate my death, once again where I was burnt at the stake. I gained a lot of information about that life. I had been having an affair with a woman whom I didn’t regard very highly. When my wife found out about the affair, she went to the authorities and informed them of my writing. I am not sure what it was I had been working on, but obviously it was secretive. Again, I met several people from that life in my current one.

In my third life as a writer, I was a young woman, and probably had to hide my identity. As my friend pointed out, woman writers would have been frowned on at that time. I was also a healer. I met the same fate as I did in the other two lives. I was falsely accused and burnt at the stake.

I had to do a tremendous amount of work on these last two lives, forgiving the people concerned and healing myself from being falsely blamed, a pattern that spanned many lifetimes. I have always had a fear of exposing my writing in my current life. This fear is a remnant that has accompanied me from the past. Even though I logically know I am not going to get burnt at the stake now, I have had to work damn hard to overcome this fear.

A few nights ago, during a meditation, I realised there were further vows I had made, or beliefs so strong, that they were still influencing me and these were about having to hide away. It was never safe for my writing to be out in the open and even though I have worked hard to overcome my fears, there were still beliefs that needed shifting, going right back to that monk life.

I duly did so and I now look forward to any changes that may come about from shifting these beliefs. In one of the meditations, the woman talks about seeing what one is ready to see. I guess this is the key. I was finally ready to see these.