More bravery
Carrying on from the last two blogs, where I talked about my reticence to be ‘out there’, I took another brave step this morning by opening up to the writers’ coffee group I belong to. When it came time to share what we had been working on this week, I decided to talk about my fears regarding exposing my spiritual side. I mentioned the facilitator’s comments about ‘why?’ when I had said that I didn’t like being in the public domain and again the second ‘why?’ after my feeble excuse. I explained to them how I always keep that part of myself hidden and how it is such a hindrance when I talk (or don’t) about my books. I almost shut down as I speak. I am certainly not a good promo tool for myself. There were only six of us this morning and there was certainly no judgement from anyone there. I know opening up this morning will make it easier for the next time and so on.
As we had plenty of time and each person had spoken, I asked whether they wanted me to take them through a guided meditation. There were only five of us by this stage. Everyone was incredibly receptive to the words and each got plenty of guidance from the meditation. This is unusual for a group that is not used to doing this kind of thing. But I think being writers, we all channel to a certain degree and are already receiving messages as we write. Everyone seemed to enjoy the experience but I am not sure if it would happen again as generally the group is much larger.
But I feel it was a good step for me this morning, to be a little vulnerable and a little more open. After all, I have often said to others that when we shut off part of ourselves, we are never just shutting off that part but a lot more alongside it. I keep thinking that I am way better than I used to be and I know that I am, but I also know that I am still not a hundred per cent comfortable being ‘me’. And until that day comes, I also know that I will still be blocking my book sales. At least this morning, I did have a further two sales. Slow and steady will get me there in the end.