Mama time
I had a ring last night from my 32-year-old daughter, feeling concerned that I had not answered her morning text.
‘’I didn’t receive any text,’’ I told her, but checked just to be sure and my messages as well, but there was nothing there.
Renee had had a disturbing dream concerning me and messaged to make sure I was okay. Of all the texts to get lost in the cyber wilderness, this was not one of them. I felt for her, stressing during her busy day, that something really was amiss with me. The context of her dream went something like this. Both of us were listening to some old music. Suddenly, I was hit by a wave of nostalgia which caused me to start crying. This upset her and she immediately followed suit. When she woke, she was still crying and carried a heaviness with her throughout her day. I reassured her that in fact I was feeling better than I had in years. None of my kids read my blogs, nor does Stephen. If she had, she would have read that I have been feeling so much better of late. Perhaps the nostalgic memories that flooded back to me in the dream, were in fact, those times of wellness which I am connecting with once again.
But I think the dream has more to do with her own state of well-being. Renee was not able to travel home at Christmas due to her financial commitments and the cost of the airplane tickets, which were extremely high. That, on top of the Covid restrictions, has depleted her of home and mama time. In the past, trips would have been a yearly occurrence, but she has missed a couple of these. There is nothing like a home visit to recalibrate oneself. For Renee, New Zealand will always be home, no matter how good Gold Coast is and how long she is there for. Her daughter moved to Australia when she was one and her son was born there, so for the children, New Zealand is just an exciting holiday destination where they get to visit their relations. But for Renee, it is so much more. It is time to fill up with everything that is home, to sit in the unjudging comfort of family and most of all, to stock up on mama time. Home is a place where one can completely be themselves.
Renee informed me that airplane prices are low at the moment and she could get herself and the children home for a relatively low price. What did I think? It is currently school holidays for them over there, with one more week to go. As usual, I put it back to her. ‘’Only you can make that decision,’’ I told her. Having her own business means that if she is away for a week, it is not only the cost of the trip, but the lost earnings too, that have to be taken into account. Of course, I would love to have her and have offered to pick her up from the airport if she does come home but I know she is the one who has to weigh up her options and make her own decision. In some ways, I think she was seeking my approval to travel when her finances are telling her otherwise, but I also know that there is nothing like a bit of mama time and home comforts to put one back on track and give them the oomph needed to carry them forward for another few months.