Insomnia

Insomnia has never been a problem of mine in the past. I would sleep wonderfully, except for the times when I had babies and then I would often wake up several times in a night, often two-hourly. But I accepted that as part of motherhood and having these delightful new children in my life. Once the babies were older, my sleep resumed.

But lately, I seem to have been waking every night and not just for an hour but up to three or four hours. Last night was a good example. I had been out in the afternoon and found I was incredibly tired, that was physically tired. I left early, came home and could only lie on the couch, such was the fatigue. I was in bed by seven and asleep by eight. I had already had one trip to the toilet, when on the second, I looked at the time, only to find it was just after midnight. And so, the wakefulness began. I was still awake at three. I often put a meditation on as that seems a sure way to fall back to sleep. I didn’t last night as I felt so tired and was sure I would be back asleep in seconds. Eventually I turned on U Tube and watched a couple of clips.

I am not sure what this is about. There is nothing worrying me, which could be a good cause of staying awake. I have been exceptionally busy and have had to set the alarm a couple of times this week putting the sleep out of kilter even more.

I am hoping I am not starting some condition. Diabetes has entered my mind. Blood tests over the last few years have ruled this disease out, though my blood sugars have always been high. When I was pregnant, I always had sugar in my urine and was warned to be careful around middle age. I am having to go to the toilet at least a couple of times each night.

I am also wondering if there is a spiritual connection. Each time I have put on a meditation, I have had massive clearings. Perhaps spirit wants me to continue with this practise, because then wakefulness during the night becomes useful time, rather than wasted and I am getting to the heart of issues I would normally not be able to. I know I always used to say to my clients that the best time to clear something is when one is vulnerable, often the time someone least wants to address something. I know that not having slept certainly leaves one feeling a bit that way. Perhaps it has something to do with the body beliefs workshop I am attending on Saturday. Perhaps it is this that I need to be vulnerable for, to finally get to the heart of my eating issues.

There is a lot of talk in the spiritual world about entering a new dimension. I am not into any of that stuff – to me it all comes down to individuals doing their own work on themselves. But maybe there is something going on in the cosmos and the insomnia is just part of that.

Whatever the reason, I have had one too many sleepless nights this week. I am looking forward to a relatively quiet fortnight ahead and hoping broken nights will become a thing of the past.