Health ailments

I have been noticing the health ailments of friends lately. It seems Stephen and I have arrived at the age where our bodies are starting to deteriorate. I was only saying at lunchtime, I wonder how my body would be now if I hadn’t got that last bout of pericarditis? I had just spent an hour in the garden, weeding then applying the hay. This wasn’t a big job, but it felt like it was. I needed a rest in between and felt utterly exhausted at the end of it. I have been working my way around the garden, only doing a small bit at a time. Yesterday we picked up 10 more bales to complete the job. I imagine, that if I hadn’t have got sick, I would still be massaging, with my body a lot fitter than it is now. But maybe I wouldn’t be, maybe I would have retired at 65 anyway. One will never know. But I am sure, that without that last illness, regardless of whether I continued massaging or not, I would have been in far better shape than what I am in now. We have all heard the phrase, use it or lose it, and that seems so apt at this point in our lives. I am trying to ‘use it’ but I am fast becoming aware that I am also ‘losing it’.

Joints seem to be one of the biggest factors affecting our friends. One has just had a replacement hip, another is waiting for a double knee replacement, still another has leg difficulties and Stephen has just been diagnosed with arthritis in his knee. As well as the pain, his knee is giving way at an increasing frequency.

I know many of my problems are due to my weight, currently sitting at the heaviest I have ever been. I look at slim women and I wish that was me. I know I eat too much. I think I wrote reasonably recently in a blog about how I didn’t want to diet again, as while successful at the time, dieting soon gives way to binge eating and all the weight returning. I would rather lose it doing more exercise and eating less, though so far, I have not been successful.

I think the weight is also part of the metabolism change that happens as we age. It is certainly not as easy to shift as it was when I was younger.

I am only 68. I guess things will get a whole lot worse in 10 years, that’s if we are lucky enough to make it that far.

We can’t dwell on the what ifs in life, we get guided along the way and our direction changes many times. I am a great believer that timing is perfect and that any forced changes, such as my illness, are all for the highest good. If I hadn’t stopped my massaging, I may not have written The Collective Us and I probably wouldn’t be writing the poetry that I am now either.

And let’s face it, none of us can live forever, so at some point our bodies are going to have to start slowing down. Our journeys are our own, and I believe too, that even in our very final years, we will be guided to face just what is necessary for our final soul growth before departing.