Dress shopping
It is disappointing when the new season arrives and the clothing in the shops no longer fits. And I am disappointed in myself that I have got to this stage of the year and am sitting at almost my heaviest weight. I did start the keto diet at the beginning of the year and stayed on it for a few months, only to lose 5kg, then to put it all back on again. Even those 5kg lighter would be better than where I am now. It is hard to lose weight or even think about one’s body when the weather is wet and cold, but already, with the warmer days approaching, how I wish I had made more of an effort to shift the weight before now.
Stephen and I visited the market this morning and I stopped off at my two favourite shops. In one, I saw a dress I would love, but they only had a small size. The next possibility was in a large, but I was told that it was a small fit. Damn. Into my next shop, where I may have found something, but the styles were the same as dresses I already have, so decided against buying anything new from there.
The zip on my beach puffer jacket gave out the other day and I was forced to look at what else might suffice on those windy and cold beach walks. And the only thing I found that did fit was one of Stephen’s largest-size jackets. Any of my old ones were now way too small.
I don’t know whether it just coincidence or not but I have come across a few articles lately telling how diets don’t work. And I am testament to this. Yes, they do work initially and the weight comes off, but it is not that long before all the weight is back on and any further attempt at that same diet is never as successful as that first one. If I could turn back the clock, I would never have let myself get so big in that last pregnancy. I believe that the body always wants to get back to its biggest weight. I had always been so skinny as a youngster and as a teenager and worked physically hard for most of my life but with each pregnancy I became five kilograms heavier than I had with the one before. Of course, I would lose the weight in between, but by the end of each, I was even heavier than the last. Now that I am not doing massages anymore, I don’t get the same workout as I did, even four years ago.
However, I am determined not to sit where I am at this weight. I am looking forward to body boarding, as that is an activity I enjoy and if the surf is big, creates quite a strenuous workout. Ideally, I would like to lose the weight eating normally and not restricting anything, perhaps having smaller portions. I did try hypnotherapy once but the usual outcome prevailed with all the lost weight eventually returning.
I don’t want to go into old age worrying that my weight might hamper my mobility so I guess I will just have to try to be more disciplined, be kind to myself and love my body regardless of what the scales say. Now that may sound easy, but believe me it is not.