Decision time
Not for me, but for someone close to me. And in saying that, there is still a year in which to process a solution. Years ago, probably about 1972, my friend carried out a stint with Volunteer Service Abroad, three years, I think. There he met a local girl while based in a small settlement in Sarawak. They fell in love, but my friend felt he would be unable to support her on returning home and so the relationship ended. Both he and the woman went on to marry their respective partners, with her ending up with an American and living in the United States, and he in the lower North Island.
Both of their partners died a few years ago and the pair have now rekindled their relationship. This is where the problem lies. Shortly before getting back in touch with his former flame, my friend accepted a two-year teaching contract with a Chinese university. The pair have zoomed daily and had visits where they have caught up, once in America, once in Sarawak and the latest here in New Zealand. There is still another year to go in China, but after that, they are trying to decide the best way forward for their relationship. Does my friend move to America with the costly health system and away from his family, does she come to New Zealand, moving thousands of miles away from her children, grandchildren and friends or do they settle back in Sarawak where the cost of living is so much cheaper that it would allow them both visits home to see their families? She is not keen on joining him in China, fearing a lot of alone time while he is preoccupied with his work commitments. I totally get that as I don’t think I would like to do that either.
What a dilemma. I suppose the relationship could fizzle out in the coming year, though judging by the strength of that now, I think that is unlikely. They have both been to visit, where I met her for the first time. I felt like I was welcoming a long, lost friend. There were lots of similarities between us, both having written two books – she is about to launch her second one on Amazon, and she also has a series of children’s books lined up.
Both my friend and her are quite religious, with my friend stating that he probably won’t ever read my books. I don’t think she will either but I am looking forward to reading hers. From the first chapter I read of her second book, her writing seemed quite similar to mine. Her books detail her journey from Sarawak to America and then her life in her new country, outlining the highs and lows along the way.
Even when Stephen was living in Auckland and I up here in Northland, it was difficult. But we were only a four-to-five-hour commute away, allowing us to catch up every other weekend or so. It would be so much harder when the countries are so far away from each other. My friend’s two children are a plane ride away from his home, one on an island out of Auckland and the other in Australia – short distances compared to how the couple is now situated.
I am glad it is not my problem to solve but I guess they are thankful for the technology that allows the daily communication when they are apart.