A mother’s bond
There is nothing quite like a mother’s bond to her children, right from those first few early days when one wakes up minutes before the baby starts crying, even though tiredness is all consuming. A child grows and goes off to school, then leaves home and often country but that bond is still there, still connecting the two.
The prompting for this morning’s blog is from the feeling I had from one of my sons. He was on my mind constantly on Sunday, so much so, that I decided to ring him yesterday morning, even though I knew he would be at work. Right at that moment he was too busy to talk but called me back a few minutes later. ‘’Yes,’’ he said, he had been worrying. ‘’I try not to, but it is hard.’’ We only talked for a few minutes, mainly about the zero benefits of worry, to which he agreed. But I am sure that phone call was enough to put his mind at rest. We cannot always control the outcome of how things will work out and with that in mind we need to let go and trust in the process, even though that process might not be what we want. Worrying achieves nothing, absolutely nothing. I remember once reading that only a small proportion of what we worry about actually eventuates. I can’t remember the exact number but it was less than 10 per cent. I tried to hang on to this fact, when I found myself worrying over the years. Some things catch us off guard and we find ourselves down a rabbit hole unable to pull ourselves back out.
I learnt a wonderful technique when I moved to New Plymouth in 2001, to combat worry, which I described in Who Is Me?. I had moved there to study journalism. The course didn’t start until July but I had shifted in January to give the kids consistency with their schooling, expecting to find work in the meantime. When I realised that casual jobs were non-existent, I started worrying about how I would manage financially, and couldn’t stop myself. It was a psychic/life coach who gave me this technique. I was to imagine my energies going anticlockwise around myself. Almost immediately my worry stopped, permanently. It was such a simple move, but so effective. It is as if we become like a top, spinning faster and faster, with the reverse movement slowing this down. I have shared this technique with many people over the years and all have found it effective and useful. Once I had stopped my worry in the above example, I was able to think things through and the thought came to me to enroll in a six-month media studies course, which enabled me to receive the student allowance in those interim months before my journalism course started.
When one sees worry on an energetic level, it is easy to realise how destructive it can be. I first saw this with my mother, who was a chronic worrier. I saw how her worry had coated my body in a net, shutting me down energetically. It was a difficult job to remove this netting, but once I had done so, I felt freer than I ever had. I used to implore her not to worry, but that seemed too difficult for her, so I found it was better not to tell her things if I thought worry might ensue, especially as far as my children were concerned.
I had obviously been picking up that something wasn’t right with my son over the weekend. I must have been feeling the negativity around him that the worry generated. As the saying goes, a trouble shared is a trouble halved. I certainly can’t feel it this morning so am pleased for him that he has been able to let that go.
Remember, worry achieves nothing, except heartache for ourselves…and a feeling of unease in one’s mother!